Married Guys Guide to HGTV and the Food Network…

I’m a married guy.  I love my wife, and she is my best friend in the world.

I’m not sure where it comes from, but some guys I know feel the need to comment derisively about the HGTV channel.

I’m not saying I love EVERY show, but there are more hits than misses.

Same with the Food Network.

I can happily watch these shows, and simultaneously putter on my Netbook Computer… same as I do when I’m watching Hockey or SportsNet.

About a year ago, I was at work, when one of the Mom’s came in with their daughter and the grad dress they had just purchased.

There were oohs and aaahs, and  many comments on the beautiful pattern of gathered pleats.

Without thinking, I commented that it was called “ruching”, and although I initially spelt it with an additional “o”, the internet proved me correct.

All my co-workers laughed at me, but it made me think.

So, here is a quick compendium of some words that you may very well come across on HGTV or the Food Network.

(Feel free to occasionally throw them into a conversation, to show that you are paying attention to “her” shows, even when it appears you are not!)


Ruching – a large number of increases are introduced in one row, which are then removed by decreases a few rows later. This produces many small vertical ripples in the fabric, effectively little pleats.  (Pronounced ROO-shing)

Tapenade – a Provençal dish consisting of puréed or finely chopped olives, capers, anchovies and olive oil. (Pronounced TAH-PAH-NOD)

Pergola – a garden feature forming a shaded walk or passageway of pillars that support cross-beams and a sturdy open lattice, upon which woody vines are trained. (Pronounced PER-gollah)

Finial – a decorative ornament at the end of a drapery rod.  Also used on top of a lamp, piece of furniture, or building.  (Pronounced FIN-E-ELL)

Toile – A type of linen cloth that has small detailed pictures, usually represented in one colour.  (Pronounced TWALL)


Sauté – To cook food quickly in a small amount of oil in a skillet or sauté pan over direct heat.  (Pronounced saw-TAY)

Blackened – A cooking technique by which meat or fish is cooked in a skillet that’s been heated until almost red hot.  The meat is rubbed with a spice mixture before being cooked. The extra hot skillet combined with the seasoning rub gives food an extra crispy crust.  Not to be confused with “BURNED.”  Use the “Blackened” term sparingly if a meal is Burned, or your eye may also become blackened.

Hope this helps you.

And, for those guys who think that “DANCING” is for sissy’s… The Canadian Version of So You Think You Can Dance started this week, on CTV.

Watch an hour of that, and tell me afterwards how the athletes on that show are not amazing, and every bit as worthy of praise and recognition as OTHER athletes !!!